Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Yep. Day I have a sensitive stomach, my train has a flat tire on a washboard track

Oh God I need to make it through this train ride without yacking

I mean... If the US government shut down, why do I have to work?

Happy October, bitches

#bitches You can't get more top notch than I am. Fuck all you suits who think you know it all.

Our facebook app was broken. Came home from the bar. Bitch on call had no clue. CTO said we couldn't be drunk and I fixed it anyway. SUCK IT

Google voice sucks the d at transcribing messages http://t.co/b3U19WtkHZ

If money smells bad then this n** biggie stinkin

DLK would be spinning in his empty office at the direction this company is going in

I'm 90% sure this fancy looking Asian businessman smells like weed and has an eighth on him. 90% sure...

Beastie Boys are on at the bar... I'm taking a shot for DLK

I hope I'm not on on call right now... #booker may be experiencing issues. But I'm with bud light and picklebacks, son

RT @KFCBarstool: If the Government shuts down, I'm shutting down too. No fucking way people should have to work if the government isn't. Am…

I'm also gassier than Gaurav, except I don't rip ass loudly at my desk or walk around in circles creepily while methane dissipates

I'm legit tallying the number of times Steve Lo comes to my desk. We're at 7 times for the day so far.