Hmmm. Pretty sober. Wonder where my credit card is. Haven't used it in days and it's MIA

Saturday, October 05, 2013 02:09:09 AM from Twitter for Android

I wish there was a jerking off emoji so I can tweet it at the CTO and tell him I'm at the bar while on call.

Saturday, October 05, 2013 12:14:08 AM from Twitter for Android

I am soley responsible for getting jeans to the bar. Suck it @lennon

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:55:18 PM from Twitter for Android

Couldn't be happier

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:53:53 PM from Twitter for Android

We want jeans

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:01:15 PM from Twitter for Android

House tequila can suck my dick

Friday, October 04, 2013 10:01:33 PM from Twitter for Android

OMG. Old school SpaBooker. It doesn't get any better than this. Velba, @maljnew, Sam, Velba, @Lennon, Dwai, Elise #suitssuck #bookersucks

Friday, October 04, 2013 09:26:08 PM from Twitter for Android

What's the over/under this rat motherfucker is wearing a wire? I'd say 75% chance

Friday, October 04, 2013 08:21:52 PM from Twitter for Android

@smstemp You have the blood pressure of a 7 year old. Do you not eat salt?

In reply to @smstemp's tweet

Friday, October 04, 2013 06:18:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

FUCK THIS PLACE. Dry as a bone. Both kegs tapped.

Friday, October 04, 2013 05:47:04 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm in the mood to get shitfaced on margs tonight. Also, it's 3:30 and biddies are hittin' up the keg, so I'ma do the same son

Friday, October 04, 2013 03:30:08 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm such a fuckin alcoholic. Coupla beers at lunch within 15 mins didn't do a god damn thing

Friday, October 04, 2013 02:53:04 PM from Twitter for Android

shitshow: http://t.co/hWfnd8nR7i

Friday, October 04, 2013 12:59:09 PM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: What's the Over/Under South Carolina Secedes from the Union Again? http://t.co/0P0HtvwNVg

Friday, October 04, 2013 02:01:28 AM from Portfolioso.com Blog

"If the money doesn't show, this conversation didn't happen. And it won't ever happen again"

Thursday, October 03, 2013 11:52:25 PM from Twitter for Android