Wait. shit this isn't funny. He's really pissed at me

Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:25:59 PM from Twitter for Android

me: "Oh fuck. I just got a server alert and I'm on call. I don't have my laptop. Eh its fine, no one will know. Kev: "JOE!!! I'M YOUR BOSS"

Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:15:45 PM from Twitter for Android

"Shots!!! ON MY GAP CARD. Because its colorful" @MalJNew

Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:05:37 PM from Twitter for Android

JON LESTAH, THE DODGIZZZ CAN SCRATCH OUT A RUN AND DELIVAH #NUMBAHONE

Thursday, October 17, 2013 01:13:12 PM from Twitter Web Client

@GadsdenMarc Cuncel 'Murica

In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:36:09 PM from Twitter for Android

"UGH. look at all those moles" "Yeah. She didn't age well"

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:33:20 PM from Twitter for Android

This one time, I picked my fingernail and put it in my belly button. Found it three days later #barstoolconfessions

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 07:54:11 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just went hysterical laughing in the middle of a meeting because I was reading @KFCBarstool ripping Francesa #NumbahOne

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 05:07:14 PM from Twitter for Android

The fact that we're running web servers that are joined to three different domains that don't trust one another can eat my dick.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 03:43:08 PM from Twitter Web Client

New intern's gotta be the Pool's Closed meme guy's younger brother. http://t.co/Mi8gupalIB

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 09:40:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

Absolute disgrace, Verizon 4G. Hardly ever works. F-

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 08:14:53 AM from Twitter for Android

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Lol. Firing my laser.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 09:31:34 PM from Twitter Web Client

Guy on my train has an amazing moustache

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 07:32:27 PM from Twitter for Android

Three people asked me to print something for them today. Do I look like I fucking secretary?

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 05:49:56 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just ordered this and shipped it to my office: http://t.co/Rr9q7Kchvx

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 05:04:51 PM from Twitter Web Client