"I've only been doing releases for two years, John. I've only gotten good them since you started" #eatadick
Tuesday, October 22, 2013 10:44:46 AM from Twitter for Android
Things I don't need on a Tuesday morning: TK's saggy assed floppy bra-less titties #VOM
Tuesday, October 22, 2013 10:16:26 AM from Twitter Web Client
I WILL unfollow you on Instagram if every single picture you post is a fucking BitStrips comic
Monday, October 21, 2013 09:38:18 AM from Twitter Web Client
My boy Barry on Metro North made my day again. They told him to stop telling people "no wiggling" but he did it anyway. #badass
Monday, October 21, 2013 09:11:58 AM from Twitter Web Client
I may have just pooped a cobra
Sunday, October 20, 2013 03:56:17 PM from Twitter for Android
Legit almost just inhaled a yellow jacket. It was on my lips.
Sunday, October 20, 2013 10:20:49 AM from Twitter for Android
Dawg looks comfy http://t.co/lcbo7uYNMk
I'm sorry, but 90s Alternative Pandora is like the best music possible
Saturday, October 19, 2013 04:37:14 PM from Twitter for Android
Why is there no motherfuckin food anywhere near this plave
Friday, October 18, 2013 11:52:51 PM from Twitter for Android
Iight dude. stop bending your fingers in possessed assed ways. we know you're straight out of the exorcist
Friday, October 18, 2013 11:05:22 PM from Twitter for Android
There's only one solution for this malocchio. Guys gotta disappear
Friday, October 18, 2013 10:24:31 PM from Twitter for Android
And the cops are here again
Friday, October 18, 2013 09:54:24 PM from Twitter for Android
Welp. They're gonna sing Pony at karaoke. This is a song you're supposed to like, fuck to or something
Friday, October 18, 2013 09:52:41 PM from Twitter for Android
Never have I ever taken a shit on a Metro North train (and I shit a lot)
Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:05:10 PM from Twitter for Android