"My mom's gonna be my maid of honor, Jeff's walking me down the isle and you gays are gonna be my bridesmaids"
Sunday, January 05, 2014 12:23:24 AM from Twitter for Android
For the record, we were talking about a rich Middle Eastern guy and I said that he had that A-Rab money. Oops @MalJNew
Saturday, January 04, 2014 08:34:25 PM from Twitter for Android
The computerized text to speech engine they use at Phoenix Sky Harbor is the same one that is used for Stephen Hawking on Family Guy
Saturday, January 04, 2014 12:49:10 PM from Twitter for Android
"Yo they look like they're related or some shit... Oh wait, we're watching Family Feud." -@portfolioso
Saturday, January 04, 2014 02:08:19 AM from Twitter for Android
Trying to play the slots ya fuckin homewrecker. #PokemonSilver #SlutLiz hitting me up all noche http://t.co/jEC5gSZ9jQ
Saturday, January 04, 2014 01:47:36 AM from Twitter for Android
Took two shits in time of peace and two in time of war. I took two shits before I took two shits, and then I took two more
Friday, January 03, 2014 09:10:08 PM from Twitter for Android
Took two shits in the mornin. Took two shits at night. Took two shits in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
Friday, January 03, 2014 09:09:18 PM from Twitter for Android
Liz you slut. Stop calling me for the D.... http://t.co/RuhZxdWUHf
Friday, January 03, 2014 08:36:00 PM from Twitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: I'm going to a couples game night tonight. Remember that when you are trying to fuck a rando tonight.
Friday, January 03, 2014 06:53:34 PM from Twitter for Android
@tomwcleary Everyone is always in a contract dispute with Cablevision. Since 2002 with the Yankees.... They never want to pay...
Friday, January 03, 2014 06:53:13 PM from Twitter for Android
Which one looks cooler? http://t.co/4wIzc1cTdD
Friday, January 03, 2014 03:30:25 AM from Twitter for Android
Enjoyyyyyyyyy to everyone in NY with the snow and 0 degree weather. I'm in a fly hot tub looking at the stars.
Friday, January 03, 2014 12:50:26 AM from Twitter for Android
Grand Canyon! #nofilter @ Grand Canyon National Park South Rim http://t.co/FTG8d4DOWj