Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I'm rooting for this guy and two smokes at the bar to have a threesome

Happy bday grandma

Wake up in the morning feeling like @tomwcleary

90s techno on at the bar. I'm getting wasted #bemyloverwannabemylover

72 weeks in a row at bars, according to foursquare. I need to get my life together

CTO was not pleased that I was blasting 40 Oz to Freedom on my DevOps TV

I smell like something illegal and I'm at work and it's driving me crazy and i;m sure it's in my head I NEED MORE BEER

I'd be slightly jealous that @BarstoolJJ is on a bender, but I'm three deep at the bar on lunch.

McGivern you fuckin waste. Your out of office is a joke http://t.co/Qyh2BvDpOZ

Can't wait for this Broken Bells album to drop

Bald eagle eyebrows

Those are what I call dick wrecking boots

"This is your lobby command station. A fire alarm was activated due to a smoke condition. It is a false alarm" #assholes

If you wear shorts and a winter coat on the subway in January, you're a certified psychopath. #serialkiller http://t.co/atjhQUmEaK

New blog post: It's 2014 - Facebook Has Absolutely No Useful Purpose Anymore http://t.co/LniH3kM8sT