I feel like all I do in this god forsaken city is stand in ducking crowds on fucking trains. New York sucks

Thursday, January 23, 2014 08:59:59 PM from Twitter for Android

The MTA took 30 years off my life

Thursday, January 23, 2014 08:51:32 PM from Twitter for Android

Bullshit in, bullshit out... Mad, so my script will contain asinine comments: #pantiesinabunchoverconfigfiles http://t.co/I4VSfuMuCL

Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:37:04 PM from Twitter Web Client

Google auto pushed a totally busted version of Chrome Canary that doesn't even start. Idiots. https://t.co/kEPgrkpLKD

Thursday, January 23, 2014 11:25:15 AM from Twitter Web Client

Our VP of Engineering needs to stop being a fucking pussy and sucking our client's dick.

Thursday, January 23, 2014 09:58:35 AM from Twitter Web Client

Okay, @maljnew stole my tablet and tweeted that. Although I cannot confirm nor deny the last statement

Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:54:42 AM from Twitter for Android

One time I pooped my pants. Man it was so cool.

Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:49:37 AM from Twitter for Android

@BadPointer .NETfiddle brah

In reply to @BadPointer's tweet

Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:33:35 AM from Twitter for Android

Time Warner sucks absolute dick. Worst. ISP. Ever.

Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:32:26 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @DadBoner: If you're not gettin' blackout bombed for Guy Fieri's b-day, you might as well just groan out a hot whizz on the American fla…

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 11:21:27 PM from Twitter for Android

I said one line during that whole meeting. It was a joke. They laughed

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 05:51:35 PM from Twitter for Android

Is this conference room haunted? There are ridiculous temperature swings here

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 05:01:29 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm about to dropkick our director of engineering

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 04:41:21 PM from Twitter for Android

In a 2 hr meeting. Conference room is 85. FML

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 04:13:53 PM from Twitter for Android

Colin. I don't give a fuck about SQL Server 2012, certs and encryption. Shut up

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 03:49:29 PM from Twitter Web Client