Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Average page load time increased from 2-4 seconds for 2 minutes. We are classifying this as an outage. FUCKING IDIOTS

Didn't even get in yet and this dumb bitch VP is all up my ass because his monitoring triggered 3 false alarms. Bitch, everyone disposes you

10° Standing on this platform because this piece of shit Metro North train is late again. #MTA

OMG this is the sex. Gonna flash custom firmware on this bitch https://t.co/ghSBMhixra

About to buy a $200 home router because I'm batshit crazy. Fuckin boss tho: http://t.co/c00hbhxeDw

My express to Scarsdale had to stop at 125th St to "reset something for a minute" 5 minutes ago... Still stopped. #FuckingMTA

"I think it's really bad not to test stuff" - Groundbreaking comments from our CTO

RT @DadBoner: Said, "If I catch a case of the backdoor explosions, I'll be comin' back here to erupt on your car and/or store floor, cornco…

I have multiple Ja Rule songs stuck in my head and I'm not sad about it.

@__JLu Try to tell that to my idiot suits. They make it miserable, so no one is motivated or gives a shit.

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

I feel like if you ever end up taking a shit at a Brother Jimmy's, you've hit rock bottom.

All the cabs are coming by the garden because the Knicks were expected to lose.

I can't think over Gabe's constant fucking babbling

Happy Monday! Start your workweek right with late MTA Metro North trains. Pieces of shit.