There's no way curling is a real sport.... No way whatsoever

Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:31:23 AM from Twitter for Android

Curling: Canada has a tomato and Russia has two yellow things. Wtf is this

Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:26:04 AM from Twitter for Android

I am at the bar and just butt dialed my director of engineering for 3 minutes straight. #yolo

Saturday, February 15, 2014 11:26:56 PM from Twitter for Android

"Should I get a facial on my ass?" -Mokey

Saturday, February 15, 2014 09:36:07 PM from Twitter for Android

I want a cheeseburger

Saturday, February 15, 2014 08:14:42 PM from Twitter for Android

If I get drunk enough. I'm sexting Daniel Jeans

Saturday, February 15, 2014 07:57:31 PM from Twitter for Android

I feel like a good time right now

Saturday, February 15, 2014 07:52:35 PM from Twitter for Android

Jeopardy is the shit @KFCBarstool

Saturday, February 15, 2014 07:11:38 PM from Twitter for Android

If you fall onto the train tracks, you're a dumb motherfucker... Nuff said.

Saturday, February 15, 2014 06:50:40 PM from Twitter for Android

What's worse? Al Quaeda or the Westboro Baptist Church? I'd go with Westboro...

Saturday, February 15, 2014 06:48:40 PM from Twitter for Android

♬Cuz I want it all. Or nothing at all ♬

Saturday, February 15, 2014 06:25:27 PM from Twitter for Android

♬ BECAUSE YOU WANT IT ALL. YOU'RE NOIIIITHING AT ALL. ♬

Saturday, February 15, 2014 06:15:50 PM from Twitter for Android

I got tipsy without thinking I would...

Saturday, February 15, 2014 06:06:35 PM from Twitter for Android

After finishing a bottle of Jameson, this hotel wine and cheese hour is baller

Saturday, February 15, 2014 05:46:24 PM from Twitter for Android

Just read my last month's worth of tweets. I'm batshit crazy.

Friday, February 14, 2014 01:19:50 AM from Twitter for Windows