I've informed the pilot not to turn off our plane's transponder.

Thursday, March 13, 2014 09:09:50 PM from Twitter for Android

RT @BarstoolJJ: Thank god for Thowback Thursday or i would have forgotten how much I hated you the first time you posted that picture.

Thursday, March 13, 2014 08:19:44 PM from Twitter for Android

McGivern: Shut your whore mouth

Thursday, March 13, 2014 03:33:10 PM from Twitter for Android

McGivern is the only dick standing in the way of my 3 day weekend

Thursday, March 13, 2014 02:40:40 PM from Twitter for Android

I've beyond mailed it in over at this here Booking establishment

Thursday, March 13, 2014 12:36:15 PM from Twitter for Windows

F that noise. Glad I don't have to deal with this BS: RT @briandonathan Grand Central Terminal. #EastHarlemExplosion http://t.co/OYWxRU6aBV

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 05:46:03 PM from Twitter Web Client

When we make a one line bugfix in our app: http://t.co/A1ECzqnbhl

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 05:44:15 PM from Twitter Web Client

This client can 100% suck a fucking dick

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 04:43:43 PM from Twitter Web Client

My credit card has been at the bar since Saturday. I need to reevaluate my life.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 11:07:44 AM from Twitter for Windows

Tuesday morning booster: "Cat's outta the bag. We're gonna see the glory hole soon!" -@MalJNew http://t.co/qs6ckWLAKo

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 09:15:23 AM from Twitter for Android

Cuncel da release

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 08:25:59 AM from Twitter for Android

The chick in the Cohen's fashion optical ads is 100% dtf

Sunday, March 09, 2014 07:10:57 PM from Twitter for Android

My grandma hasn't stopped making fun of me since I walked in after I confused cucumbers and zucchini.

Sunday, March 09, 2014 06:59:31 PM from Twitter for Android

A la la la la long

Sunday, March 09, 2014 04:37:00 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm wasted

Sunday, March 09, 2014 02:52:25 PM from Twitter for Android