Accidentally got drunk in Chicago. Capone sent me.
"You have the bladder of an infant" -sooozyq to Eric
I might be wasted
Jesus Christ Mal. You just ordered our 3rd pitcher of margs?
I'm in Chicago during the wrong time period. I wanna hang with Johnny Torrio and Al Capone
Did I just get roofied?
RT @KFCBarstool: My entire life I thought the Pearl Jam lyrics were "Jeremy's Spoken" not "Jeremy Spoke In." Just found out last nite #Bars…
"I have a thing for messes. I can rehabilitate them." *pause* "...With my dick."
Just got this beer called "Yeast..?" Ummmmm probably not the best marketing name for it. Its iight
Please explain to me how I, a grammar Nazi, lost a match on Quizzup in the grammar category to someone in fuckin India
Ya don't need to post 9 tbt pics in a row, fuckfaces.
If I don't get banned from a bar in Chi city, this weekend will be a failure
This plane is the whitest. I also guess it snowed here... Leave it up to me to fly from no snow to snowinzn the winter.
Thursday, March 13, 2014 11:44:46 PM from Twitter for Android
Chi city bound for St. Paddy's. Disaster bound
Thursday, March 13, 2014 09:10:35 PM from Twitter for Android