These sluts remind me of my cousin

Saturday, March 15, 2014 03:59:56 PM from Twitter for Android

Me three RT @chisoxbarstool Looking back I'm pretty positive I got roofied last night

Saturday, March 15, 2014 03:26:50 PM from Twitter for Android

My boy's visiting NYC next weekend. It's gonna be a faaaahhhkin disaster

Saturday, March 15, 2014 02:59:56 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm wasted

Saturday, March 15, 2014 02:11:42 PM from Twitter for Android

Pretty sure Matt McConaughey is at this party

Saturday, March 15, 2014 01:57:42 PM from Twitter for Android

Just pulled the recovery

Saturday, March 15, 2014 01:55:21 PM from Twitter for Android

I love Chicago. The natives fuck up vowels so hard it hurts

Saturday, March 15, 2014 01:48:12 PM from Twitter for Android

Bacon, eggs and Jameson

Saturday, March 15, 2014 11:42:43 AM from Twitter for Android

Booker loves the CAC http://t.co/NyORqHNxpK

Saturday, March 15, 2014 09:58:43 AM from Twitter for Android

It's 8:30 am and I'm going on a mimosa run. I need to reevaluate my life

Saturday, March 15, 2014 09:38:44 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm still drunk RT @BarstoolJJ My phone is covered in Fireball and @chisoxbarstool is on my couch. How's your life?

Saturday, March 15, 2014 09:37:52 AM from Twitter for Android

I may or may not have gotten drunk and wrote nasty shit about McGivern on the chalkboard in the bar bathroom

Saturday, March 15, 2014 01:42:19 AM from Twitter for Android

For real. Whoever farted in here, it wasn't me. I know I'm a flatulent motherfucker, but it wasn't me. Ya heard?!

Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:15:46 AM from Twitter for Android

Fuck'em http://t.co/inLInICh6k

Friday, March 14, 2014 11:33:45 PM from Twitter for Android