Oh. Blue jays are wearing blue...... Next bar TV colors were accurate

Saturday, April 05, 2014 02:30:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Just checked my own ass out in the mirror. It's a good ass.

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:28:38 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, why are the fucking BLUE Jays wearing green uniforms?

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:20:51 PM from Twitter for Android

21 year old Jeter would've made that play...

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:20:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Four days into the season, texiera pulled his vagina muscle. Again. I called it. Weak motherfucker

Saturday, April 05, 2014 07:23:35 AM from Twitter for Android

I will never be as dapper as this guy on the subway. Looked like a classy guy from the 50s. Girlfriend's gaydar went off, mine did not...

Friday, April 04, 2014 11:35:31 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm getting so drunk this weekend, I'm getting banned from twitter #abusers #axelrod

Friday, April 04, 2014 06:11:36 PM from Twitter for Android

I'd like you to think about how ridiculous this statement is: "A Mexican with an ass fupa carrying a large bag of live chickens."

Friday, April 04, 2014 05:26:53 PM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew needs to stop smoking fuckin cigarettes. 🚭 🚭 🚭

Friday, April 04, 2014 04:42:36 PM from Twitter for Android

"You didn't like the font I used in my document? Bitch, you're the one who uses comic sans." -@MalJNew

Friday, April 04, 2014 01:58:19 PM from Twitter for Android

Just elbowed a large man while air drumming to the Beatles at the bar

Friday, April 04, 2014 01:51:32 PM from Twitter for Android

Jack honey as medicine for my throat son.

Friday, April 04, 2014 01:49:16 PM from Twitter for Android

Cheers to being young, successful and fucked up http://t.co/6Sf8D4dFaR

Friday, April 04, 2014 01:10:19 PM from Twitter for Android

Gonna run train on those $3 Coors lights at O'Haras in a couple minutes

Friday, April 04, 2014 12:35:23 PM from Twitter Web Client

Whether you like Ron Paul or not, you gotta agree that Liberatarian girl is just about a smokeshow: http://t.co/ejGhNgWMFV

Friday, April 04, 2014 09:42:58 AM from Twitter Web Client