Place is so fucked. @MalJNew takes one sick day and we're at a standstill on the grounds that SUITS DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING #FeelBetter

Monday, March 24, 2014 03:00:58 PM from Twitter Web Client

You can't even begin to describe how fucking shitty my fantasy baseball team is

Monday, March 24, 2014 01:10:51 PM from Twitter Web Client

I am at a KFC in the hood and they have bulletproof glass. I need to reevaluate my life.

Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:28:35 PM from Twitter for Android

I'd pay hundreds for White Castle right now

Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:08:38 PM from Twitter for Android

In the BK rowdyy

Saturday, March 22, 2014 10:24:19 PM from Twitter for Android

Pretty sure the only reason I still work where I do is because I know the Yanks are winning the series and I'm going to the fuckin parade.

Saturday, March 22, 2014 09:51:01 PM from Twitter for Android

Nate's inviting the fucked up ass chick back. Yeah buddy get it

Saturday, March 22, 2014 09:21:08 PM from Twitter for Android

For real. This chicks almost got @JenSelter's ass but those clothes make it look awful

Saturday, March 22, 2014 09:11:52 PM from Twitter for Android

Been drinking for 3 days straight. Cousin's kids baptism is tomorrow. Will definitely have the shits

Saturday, March 22, 2014 09:06:59 PM from Twitter for Android

As an expert on the female ass, I 109% want to point out that this chicks ass is borderline deformed

Saturday, March 22, 2014 07:21:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Fact: My girlfriend had to be black in a past life

Friday, March 21, 2014 08:57:28 PM from Twitter for Android

This is bullshit https://t.co/MVKu0v87Ac

Friday, March 21, 2014 08:15:25 PM from Vine for Android

New blog post: If You Let Your Son Bring a My Little Pony Backpack to School, You Deserve to be Sterilized http://bit.ly/OExSRH

Friday, March 21, 2014 10:07:25 AM from Portfolioso.com Blog

I'm cracking up that Niraj flirted with a gay to get Russian perks. Legit gave his cell, too.

Friday, March 21, 2014 02:34:04 AM from Twitter for Android

I get goosebumps when the bassline thumps

Friday, March 21, 2014 02:00:04 AM from Twitter for Android