Just told the VP who hired me to go fuck himself (jokingly) and I told our CEO our UI sucks. #enjoyyy

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 08:41:20 PM from Twitter for Android

40 Oz. to Freedom = the most productive I've been in weeks!

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 11:06:11 AM from Twitter Web Client

Listening to 40 Oz. to Freedom as it's getting warmer is just about the most fantastic thing possible

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:50:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

Completely empty bathroom. Don't shit in the stall directly next to me. Asshole.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 09:34:58 AM from Twitter for Android

The 8:02 just showed up. It's 8:11. We're late because they're using a piece of shit antique train and the doors get stuck.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 08:12:07 AM from Twitter for Android

Only take Metro North a couple of times per week, which means that the trains are now late 100% of the time I take them #MTA

Wednesday, April 02, 2014 08:04:24 AM from Twitter for Android

Jesus Christ, CC

Tuesday, April 01, 2014 07:25:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Hahahbdndksn,hjxmdhekcn YANKEES!!! #YeahJeets

Tuesday, April 01, 2014 07:06:23 PM from Twitter for Android

@ky9 "I want to spend some time today to tell you a little bit about Jogues, an extraordinary man!"

In reply to @ky9's tweet

Tuesday, April 01, 2014 05:37:00 PM from Twitter for Android

I am walking around the office drinking water out of a a wine glass because fuck it, why not.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014 02:58:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

It's a grand day! Happy Yankee season!

Tuesday, April 01, 2014 11:29:22 AM from Twitter for Android

Leili is addicted to fins dick juice just like Selena is addicted to the biebs dick juice

Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:56:31 AM from Twitter for Android

Kfc delivered. I am now a black.

Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:53:58 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm diagnosing myself with lung cancer in 2065

Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:16:26 AM from Twitter for Android

Correction. They're 130% fucking. Guaranteed

Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:56:41 PM from Twitter for Android