@__JLu Problem is, this Twitter is private, so HBO can't see how batshit crazy I am

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Tuesday, April 08, 2014 06:49:55 AM from Twitter for Android

Yankee home opener and I'm fixing fucking config files because PMs are useless and suck at life

Monday, April 07, 2014 03:07:22 PM from Twitter Web Client

This isn't even fair. Exec chef at NYY Steak just cooking steaks at 9:45 am for the Good Day crew... http://t.co/80tJuVHRNy

Monday, April 07, 2014 09:46:23 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm hungover. It's 10PM

Saturday, April 05, 2014 09:59:24 PM from Twitter for Android

Wasted

Saturday, April 05, 2014 05:33:35 PM from Twitter for Android

Phone keeps fuckin rebooting. Fuck off

Saturday, April 05, 2014 03:11:43 PM from Twitter for Android

Fuckin hate Texiera. Never did anything useful for Yanks. Always hurts his pussy and gets paid for being on the DL. Get the fuck off my team

Saturday, April 05, 2014 03:02:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh. Blue jays are wearing blue...... Next bar TV colors were accurate

Saturday, April 05, 2014 02:30:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Just checked my own ass out in the mirror. It's a good ass.

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:28:38 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, why are the fucking BLUE Jays wearing green uniforms?

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:20:51 PM from Twitter for Android

21 year old Jeter would've made that play...

Saturday, April 05, 2014 01:20:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Four days into the season, texiera pulled his vagina muscle. Again. I called it. Weak motherfucker

Saturday, April 05, 2014 07:23:35 AM from Twitter for Android

I will never be as dapper as this guy on the subway. Looked like a classy guy from the 50s. Girlfriend's gaydar went off, mine did not...

Friday, April 04, 2014 11:35:31 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm getting so drunk this weekend, I'm getting banned from twitter #abusers #axelrod

Friday, April 04, 2014 06:11:36 PM from Twitter for Android

I'd like you to think about how ridiculous this statement is: "A Mexican with an ass fupa carrying a large bag of live chickens."

Friday, April 04, 2014 05:26:53 PM from Twitter for Android