RT @KFCBarstool: Michael Kay with the worst joke in the history of baseball broadcasting https://t.co/lqSL2czzkI

Thursday, April 17, 2014 07:22:03 AM from Twitter Web Client

Mohammed: "My long grain basmati rice is best in world. Is from Afghanistan"

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 09:44:21 PM from Twitter for Android

Trabajar y mejorar, y cura tu cabesa

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 08:38:07 PM from Twitter for Android

If the Yankees don't sweep the Cubs, I I'm going to cuncel them.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 08:09:35 PM from Twitter for Android

RT @chisoxbarstool: Lol cubs

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 08:08:36 PM from Twitter for Android

The Cubs are SO bad... They're like me in little league.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 08:04:32 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm at the bar. This is a fuckin sausagefest assed ladies night...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 07:40:45 PM from Twitter for Android

It's very apparent that these fuckers don't trust me any more and will hardly let me touch production

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 04:01:12 PM from Twitter Web Client

Gassy as a bastard

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 03:42:45 PM from Twitter Web Client

FIREFOX IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 02:36:28 PM from Twitter Web Client

The entire subway system is useless. I've gotten screwed 3 times this am

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 09:27:15 AM from Twitter for Android

THE MTA DID SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE: http://t.co/vdtUMs1epp

Tuesday, April 15, 2014 09:15:19 AM from Twitter Web Client

I just watched the most horrifying sandy vagina commercial... It is not on Youtube, or else I'd troll everyone with it...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014 12:57:21 AM from Twitter Web Client

Its fucking cloudy. Wanted to see the lunar eclipse tonight

Monday, April 14, 2014 09:52:44 PM from Twitter for Android

I've got a sweatshirt and sweatpants in. And dress shoes. And I'm on the train. Idgaf

Monday, April 14, 2014 08:40:58 PM from Twitter for Android