Wasted

Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:28:01 AM from Twitter for Android

As a physics geek, I can't stop making this wine glass sing. The guests are getting annoyed. Might be too tips to care...

Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:52:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Had a bottle of wine and am now deeply enjoying Pearl Jam's Ten on the roof

Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:03:32 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm so proud of my @MalJNew. Hosting dinner two nights in a row and killing it!

Saturday, May 10, 2014 10:06:11 PM from Twitter for Android

Ariana Grande. Come at me

Saturday, May 10, 2014 09:29:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Emma Stone. Come at me.

Saturday, May 10, 2014 09:23:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Ladies and Gentlemen, our VP of Service Deivery: http://t.co/JsTQ80doJu

Friday, May 09, 2014 10:52:21 AM from Twitter Web Client

I can go for a McChicken right now. Can I get that shit on seamless stat?

Friday, May 09, 2014 01:31:12 AM from Twitter for Android

Ah. I see our CTO is still here. He's suckling Kelly's dick right now

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:35:24 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm sorry but allowing a short hand goal while YOU have a power play is not how you win hockey games

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:18:30 PM from Twitter for Android

Live tweet I g the company Siete de mayo party. How to get fired

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:07:40 PM from Twitter for Android

If my boss wasn't gay, this support manager Ashling would tie him down and bang him so hard.... Guaranteed

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:07:06 PM from Twitter for Android

This bitch wearing three watches is a weirdo

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:04:22 PM from Twitter for Android

This is a snubbull. Or Gabe's gf. Or Philly meg http://t.co/ibTFSwmMCS

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 09:01:45 PM from Twitter for Android

I'd also like to point out that Wagner let herself go. Funny how people still think she's hot because they should've seen her in 2010

Wednesday, May 07, 2014 08:59:00 PM from Twitter for Android