And furthermore Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if...

Friday, April 25, 2014 10:32:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Pistol grip pump in my lap at all times

Friday, April 25, 2014 10:08:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Bitches http://t.co/JjSTFAd09g

Friday, April 25, 2014 08:46:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Edgar is fly as fuck right now http://t.co/efFZUWj5v3

Friday, April 25, 2014 08:38:17 PM from Twitter for Android

So if your gf has the hots for another girl, a threesome is acceptable, right?

Friday, April 25, 2014 07:56:07 PM from Twitter for Android

Hobbs is trying to fuck Renninger. Guaranteed.

Friday, April 25, 2014 07:53:43 PM from Twitter for Android

"Can you do some music over this, instead of our voices" https://t.co/3n8s8YqjeS

Friday, April 25, 2014 06:56:17 PM from Vine for Android

It smells like menthol cigarettes and Chinese food

Friday, April 25, 2014 03:16:45 PM from Twitter for Android

@ky9 worse than the MTA

In reply to @ky9's tweet

Friday, April 25, 2014 03:08:50 PM from Twitter for Android

Our regular bartender just gave me a Jolly Rancher before I went back to the office. You know, so I don't reek of booze.

Friday, April 25, 2014 02:59:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Our CTO doesn't understand why we shouldn't do a tier 2 firewall installation the same night as a major rollout </facepalm> #dumbass

Friday, April 25, 2014 01:48:28 PM from Twitter Web Client

If you spell Michelle with one L, you're an asshole

Friday, April 25, 2014 01:34:13 PM from Twitter Web Client

REG DELETE /y HKLM\Software\Policies\Google Ya fuckin cocksuckers

Friday, April 25, 2014 10:09:19 AM from Twitter Web Client

IT is now pushing corporate policies to change my chrome homepage, and it's corrupting my profile daily. Time to move along.

Friday, April 25, 2014 09:37:09 AM from Twitter Web Client

@portfolioso I lost

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Thursday, April 24, 2014 08:18:45 PM from Twitter for Android