Our shit has been down all night and look at all the fucks I give. Maybe it'll give McGivern a heart attack.

Friday, May 16, 2014 10:39:05 PM from Twitter for Android

Will you crackers on call fix the reporting cluster so I stop getting alerts while I'm trying to get shitfaced on Friday night? Please and thx

Friday, May 16, 2014 09:28:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Why is it that the only people who go through your recycling for bottle deposits are middle aged Asian women?

Friday, May 16, 2014 07:49:08 PM from Twitter for Android

Touche, @KFCBarstool , touche. Sounds like a blast... http://t.co/x0CObWa1EC

Friday, May 16, 2014 07:04:35 PM from Twitter for Android

This old bitch is watching loud videos on her phone. Shut the fuck up

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:56:51 PM from Twitter for Android

No seats and the door to the car with like 3, people in it is locked. These mother fuckers #MTA

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:47:53 PM from Twitter for Android

If this train was on time and not 8 minutes late, I wouldn't have gotten caught in the rain. #MTA #die

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:43:49 PM from Twitter for Android

This is the jokeshop who manages our DBAs, yet refuses to make decisions... It's time to move on... http://t.co/czl6iBzm4Z

Friday, May 16, 2014 05:01:52 PM from Twitter Web Client

"You made me look like a freak in front of J Lo" - Jennifer Lawrence.... Girl, we know you're already a freak. https://t.co/KUlcRBOWpg

Friday, May 16, 2014 01:34:55 PM from Twitter Web Client

Actual Metro North poster... Very poor wording. Delays DO happen often, and I'm never glad. Fuckers. http://t.co/Y98iLV2LBf

Friday, May 16, 2014 02:00:58 AM from Twitter Web Client

.@DRob30 is my dude

Thursday, May 15, 2014 10:17:43 PM from Twitter for Android

On the phone with Time Warner Cable. Blood pressure is slowly increasing

Thursday, May 15, 2014 08:13:42 PM from Twitter Web Client

OMG New Foo Fighters this fall and a 8 part mini series on HBO. vnsldkbgaslkgnas djbaskhdbvaskldbfaklsdjbgaksjdbf #DAVEGROHL #OBSESSED

Thursday, May 15, 2014 08:04:05 PM from Twitter Web Client

If your family brings three fucking bikes into the subway at rush hour, you all deserve the worst

Thursday, May 15, 2014 06:26:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Tanaka is the only competent pitcher on this entire team

Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:13:05 PM from Twitter for Android