Fuck the fuckin Flyers. I hate Philly. And Philly Meg

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 08:40:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Have I mentioned lately that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit? http://t.co/hmcLGjhyj8

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 04:32:02 PM from Twitter Web Client

Our alcoholic sysops team is arguing over how the new on call schedule will fit into our drinking habits

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 02:55:51 PM from Twitter Web Client

The B.O. originating from my boss is kind of out of control for a white guy. Two cubes down.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 09:57:03 AM from Twitter Web Client

What's the over under the girl who wrote this letter has been executed? I'd say probably 80/20 http://t.co/DCILM98R53

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 09:30:59 AM from Twitter Web Client

Sorry Mals, but based on Emma Stone's Tonight Show appearance, I must cheat on you with her.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 12:10:14 AM from Twitter for Android Tablets

The grammar in this email made me cry. I judged harshly. http://t.co/OWnDal2iHx

Tuesday, April 29, 2014 09:41:45 AM from Twitter Web Client

"How do I go about creating more space/compressing the C drive?" -Actual support ticket. Yes. We'll just create extra HD sectors out of air

Monday, April 28, 2014 05:27:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

Interviewed a guy and asked him to compare F5 and A10 load balancers. "A10 isbetter because it is 5 more and an A is better than an F"

Monday, April 28, 2014 03:33:13 PM from Twitter Web Client

Take Ray Bans out of case. Frame is cracked in two and the lens fell out. Happy Monday to you also, cunts

Monday, April 28, 2014 10:33:57 AM from Twitter Web Client

If you ask me a question the second I walk in before I'm settled, or Skype me within the first 5 minutes I'm here, you're a fuckin asshole

Monday, April 28, 2014 09:14:25 AM from Twitter Web Client

All corruption....

Saturday, April 26, 2014 09:20:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Dave Robertson is my homeslice

Saturday, April 26, 2014 04:14:24 PM from Twitter for Android

Having a religious experience via root beer float with @MalJNew

Saturday, April 26, 2014 01:53:55 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, if the toilet is clogged at work, wasn't me maybe

Friday, April 25, 2014 11:54:28 PM from Twitter for Android