RT @BarstoolJJ: You don't win games giving up inside the park home runs
@dannyrob88 Fuck the rays jackass
Oh and if the FBI sees my last tweet, before you arrest me, I just meant I'm farting a lot assholes
Generating enough methane gas to blow up Queens
General A Rod is on steroids...
Protip: Do not use beer bottles as drumsticks. Doesn't turn out well.
Why is Jamie Foxx glistening?
"My mouth is sore from making a vagina face" -@MichaelShatin
"I got my grandpa's meat" -@MalJNew
"Helen Keller wouldn't have prescription sunglasses, Joes. Unless it was a prescription for sight" -@MichaelShatin
RT @beardobarstool: Lots of pale legs with bruises all over them what have you girls been doing all winter
Free mint juleps for Derby Day, a la my dude bartender.
Do I have enough souvenir cups? http://t.co/ZSkHwvmshr
Bald Vinny just retweeted my public twitter acct tweet. I am honored
Remix to Ignition to pregame the Yankees. Fuckers