I make the worst mojitos in all of the land. Mojito. What. I don't think it's a gay drink.
Fucking Time Warner. I logged in on your ISP assholes, you can't even detect me? http://t.co/wwb38JCGwu
If you're gonna play Creed at the bar, at least play My Own Prison. Not gonna lie, songs not bad.. #barstoolconfessions
Who's the dick who is trolling the jukebox with Creed? 3 in a row now...
RT @KFCBarstool: If you don't send a girl a picture of your dick in a hot dog bun this holiday weekend, you're doing it wrong.
Let me kick it to you a little something like this: I'd rather be a subway performer than to work in this corporate assed startup
https://t.co/FOuHmCUUd1 This is a good read about why everything is broken and sucks
"Not that I'm promoting prostitution, but I'm promoting prostitution and stripping." -@MalJNew
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 07:37:46 PM from Twitter for Android
I respect Jeter for banging on his chest and saying yeah Jeets to video highlights. If Twitter was a sport, I'd bang my chest to my tweets
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 07:15:05 PM from Twitter for Android
Just googled " Mexican bag of chickens painting" don't ask...
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 06:50:24 PM from Twitter for Android
The golden rule to determine whether or not two coworkers are banging is: if there's the slightest suspicion, then yes, they're banging
So the frontend intern and product intern are fucking, right? My coworkers fucking radar is 100% on point.
O shit. Yanks are on? $3 Coors Lights? Never going back to the office.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 02:46:36 PM from Twitter for Android
Foo Fighters are putting all their shit on SoundCloud. Yeah DAVE. (PS I buy foo records, so whatever) https://t.co/pf3lfnX74j
This kid's a stud. He's obviously going straight for the pussy: http://t.co/J1500tnaeI