Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

You're mistaken if you don't think I'm putting Mal's "You can't be a pimp and a prostitute too" White Stripes sticker on my work laptop.

Might have just gotten caught by a dog owner talking about his dogs titties.

I'm all about this drunk bus to the party in the hotel lobby

I am OK with these old ladies getting down to remix to ignition

The amount of 90s techno at this wedding is making me happy

Mal just said my tweets are just as bad as Bynes' were during her meltdown. I'm not that crazy, am I?

Whoever is driving this R train is a miserable fuckup who needs to learn how to brake without everyone wiping out. F- #mta

DBA manager with the rainbow keyboard keeps ripping ass up in this bitch. http://t.co/03GOKOhmmH

Verizon XLTE. Now faster upload speeds than Time Warner's turbo package that's $60/month http://t.co/ZbI0L9iuJG

One of my Russians told me the following: "You either drink and smoke, or you die healthy" apparently the expression is catchier in Russian.

Fuckin guy is over at our desks every 5 minutes asking for progress and giving new tasks. How is anything supposed to get finished?

My boss and I simultaneously screaming at the director of Engineering was fantastic.

@__JLu I don't see how they're that good. Just utterly ridiculous. If it makes people smile, my job is done...