Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

How my boy got green screen pics of our executive assistant is beyond me. All I know is that these would make baller 404 and 500 error pages

Dude. That's the biggest tap handle I've ever seen. You can't even deep throat that shit

I forgot Derick was out with us. Guess he's tryin to bang the Magic Hat promo girl

"I wouldn't piss down his throat if his heart was on fire" @XtinaSchelin

Morons over at Foursquare question my supreme QA skills. Clear my cache and cookies bro? Really? READ THE TICKET http://t.co/rIecwJakFx

This heat bullshit needs to end. Is it fall yet (isn't even summer). Moving to Alaska

Just tried to change the category of my company on Foursquare from Tech Startup to Circus. Let's see if another superuser approves

I find it hysterical that I was out for days and 10 people couldn't figure something out I just fixed in 30 seconds #FAIL

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't give a fuck about the world cup?

If you pronounce it Jinx, you're an asshole @H9RBSjs Debate of the day: "Engine X" vs. "Jinx": What is the correct pronunciation of "nginx"?

In reply to @H9RBSjs's tweet

Our software's such a piece of shit this infographic went out in the weekly round up. I kid you not... http://t.co/2IW0NsUlBd

As you can tell from my grandparents' recycling, they are extreme party animals http://t.co/eFNRYO9iUV

My boy Danny is so loud, I can single out his voice on the boardwalk from the shitter

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's holding my boys back from beating the shit outta someone. No ones getting by me son

I've got this new dev trying to explain to me how some app works. Except, he doesn't realize I wrote said app 2 years ago. #Fail