IMA star son http://t.co/hYZS5QGLnD

Thursday, June 26, 2014 08:02:40 PM from Twitter for Android

Yo Dwight. Lemmie get some sliders

Thursday, June 26, 2014 07:59:17 PM from Twitter for Android

I almost just broke a tooth biting a bottle of tequila. No comment

Thursday, June 26, 2014 06:33:39 PM from Twitter for Android

Tonight is Sam's going away party. This is going to get reaaaaaallllll sloppy. If I pee on you, I apologize in advance.

Thursday, June 26, 2014 06:20:54 PM from Twitter Web Client

Am kinda bummed that I can't flash the dev preview of Android L on my 2012 Nexus 7.

Thursday, June 26, 2014 02:50:46 PM from Twitter for Android

The Windows command line is fucking convoluted. https://t.co/odTrJlwuhS Shit takes like .5 seconds in Python or bash

Thursday, June 26, 2014 01:40:22 PM from Twitter Web Client

In case you're interested in how i fixed what I was bitchin about before, https://t.co/7guW2Ltw9W

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Thursday, June 26, 2014 02:02:53 PM from Twitter Web Client

ESPN can't handle all the traffic lolz. Need a devops engineer?

Thursday, June 26, 2014 12:12:04 PM from Twitter Web Client

In our sysops team meeting, when we went around the table explaining what we've been working on, I almost burst out laughing.

Thursday, June 26, 2014 09:57:07 AM from Twitter for Android

Dark chocolate is absolutely unreal right now.

Thursday, June 26, 2014 12:15:39 AM from Twitter for Android

"it occurs to me that sysops is sort of a sausagefest" - @XtinaSchelin

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 04:41:48 PM from Twitter Web Client

I've been in meetings since 12:30 and they need to fuckin end

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 02:45:12 PM from Twitter for Android

PS – “Real talk are you horny?” is absolutely gold. @KFCBarstool

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 09:40:00 AM from Twitter for Android

...Insert Booker joke here... RT @Pontifex How I wish everyone had decent work! It is essential for human dignity.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014 04:55:34 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, sleeping dude on shitter woke up startled and walked out. No hand wash.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014 04:54:21 PM from Twitter for Android