Mike Tyson bit off Holyfield's ear 17 years ago today? I am OLD as fuck
Saturday, June 28, 2014 11:38:32 AM from Twitter for Android
I just woke up on the roof in a pile if beer
Saturday, June 28, 2014 03:16:56 AM from Twitter for Android
Fuck you in your pink Jeep
Saturday, June 28, 2014 01:11:14 AM from Twitter for Android
Haven't had a Natty Light since Fairfield... This is fantastic.
Saturday, June 28, 2014 12:26:19 AM from Twitter for Android
Kelly: "Mal, I think this song came on the last time I was in bed with you." 😎
If I smell Jack Daniels, I'll straight up vomit on the spot.
You know it's bad news when your boy calls you and is like... I'm gonna be like #yeahjeets with your cousin... Lol
I just whistled an invented guitar solo riff to Oye Como Va. Come at me
I didn't think it would be that hard to see Sam walking away but somehow it was. Fuckin a man.
Not to be a cocky asshole or anything but when a fly ass ex coworker texts you this, ya gotta feel some kinda awesome http://t.co/JO57kOWvjw
"D.A.T.A.Z.Z.D.O.E" (DAT ass tho)
Thursday, June 26, 2014 10:33:11 PM from Twitter for Android
This cocksucker waiter took away the giant jenga blocks from me. Are you serious?
Thursday, June 26, 2014 10:01:45 PM from Twitter for Android
Black keys are on so I'm taking a shot. Not their pussy ass new album tho. Good old shit
Thursday, June 26, 2014 09:41:23 PM from Twitter for Android
Sam's leaving g. My company is now fucked hard. In the ass
Thursday, June 26, 2014 09:40:51 PM from Twitter for Android
Wench. Stop talking to the other fuckin bartender and bring me beers
Thursday, June 26, 2014 08:26:26 PM from Twitter for Android