That'll kill you son and I'm all about living to see the tricentennial murrica celebraish and beyond!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014 01:42:15 AM from Twitter for Android

Just about as bad as Nurse Jackie, except I'm not into narcs....

Tuesday, July 29, 2014 01:41:28 AM from Twitter for Android

1:40 am. I'm hungover and have to work tomorrow. Lolz

Tuesday, July 29, 2014 01:39:21 AM from Twitter for Android

Wasted

Monday, July 28, 2014 11:11:13 PM from Twitter for Android

"I'm not into girls but I want to hire cute girls with big boobs. That new imp girl is cute. Good boobs."

Monday, July 28, 2014 10:47:10 PM from Twitter for Android

I know some guys in the sanitation so we can make problems disappear.

Monday, July 28, 2014 10:45:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Shit. Someone's getting arrested tonight

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:39:32 PM from Twitter for Android

Christ. Everyone is trying to hang out with me. Why am I this popular #jk

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:29:40 PM from Twitter for Android

Upstairs bartender was awful and started taking selfies so I went downstairs band started double fisting

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:26:33 PM from Twitter for Android

How many drinks does it take to flatten a 400lb guy? 23?

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:05:55 PM from Twitter for Android

Out HR coordinator is doing the lawnmower with our SQL developer. They're fucking later.

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:02:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Solanas' white pants tho

Monday, July 28, 2014 08:13:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Almost just confused two white guys. What? They all look alike

Monday, July 28, 2014 08:08:17 PM from Twitter for Android

#CFO chatting about poo

Monday, July 28, 2014 06:29:39 PM from Twitter for Android

Will refrain from live tweeting the company propaganda cruise, now that I'm public. #100%overbudgettho

Monday, July 28, 2014 06:21:41 PM from Twitter for Android