Upstairs bartender was awful and started taking selfies so I went downstairs band started double fisting

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:26:33 PM from Twitter for Android

How many drinks does it take to flatten a 400lb guy? 23?

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:05:55 PM from Twitter for Android

Out HR coordinator is doing the lawnmower with our SQL developer. They're fucking later.

Monday, July 28, 2014 09:02:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Solanas' white pants tho

Monday, July 28, 2014 08:13:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Almost just confused two white guys. What? They all look alike

Monday, July 28, 2014 08:08:17 PM from Twitter for Android

#CFO chatting about poo

Monday, July 28, 2014 06:29:39 PM from Twitter for Android

Will refrain from live tweeting the company propaganda cruise, now that I'm public. #100%overbudgettho

Monday, July 28, 2014 06:21:41 PM from Twitter for Android

@__JLu I want to entertain the world

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Monday, July 28, 2014 06:20:45 PM from Twitter for Android

CTO and his minion playin a little grab ass on the walk to the propaganda cruise

Monday, July 28, 2014 05:39:49 PM from Twitter for Android

Why do they call chocolate chips morsels? Morsel sounds silly.

Monday, July 28, 2014 04:38:55 PM from Twitter for Android

If you walk around the subway platforms while breastfeeding, you're straight up absurd.

Monday, July 28, 2014 02:15:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Made my twitter public for a little while because I want to interact with the world. this may be a huge mistake

Monday, July 28, 2014 01:28:13 PM from Twitter for Android

Okay, this is an amateur hour noob engineer operating this train. Go asshole. Signal is green

Monday, July 28, 2014 01:22:08 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, train is late #MTA

Monday, July 28, 2014 01:19:13 PM from Twitter for Android

If you ride a bike on the train station platform, you're an asshole. I'd normally say you deserve to fall on the tracks, but that'd delay me

Monday, July 28, 2014 01:18:18 PM from Twitter for Android