Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Can we get like topmeas maids to clean the place @MalJNew? I mean, I saw a van for it so it must be legit, right?

@MalJNew I meant topless

I think I just got hit on by a dude.

Ok, now he's getting concerned

My boss is at brunch with me watching me get shitfaced before tonight's server maintenance

To summarize my Saturday, I ended up drumming on the dinner table with plastic chopsticks

By all means, play your cell phone games on full volume in this smelly, overheated, crowded train car.

RT @BarstoolJJ: I just spilled 6 shots of Jameo on a girl and she didn't flinch. She fucks

🎵🎶Alina's mom has got it going on 🎶🎵

Flashing.... Lights

This bitch TSwift really needs to shut up about royalties and shit. Tired of seeing her everywhere.

Welp, at least I got to nap longer because @MTA uses inferior equipment where they can't get the doors to close. #late #completefailure

Now that I take Metro North once every other week or so, their on time performance is 0%. Always a problem. #mta #sucks

@VerizonSupport No worries. Handled it.

Thank you to Verizon for hard resetting my FiOS router. Now I need to remember all my port forwards.

OMG just realized Sonic Highways comes out in 4 days