Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

If @jerrythornton1's leaving Barstool, who's gonna do the sex scandal teacher blogs?

Woof. You ever know a really hot chick in college and then you saw her pic like 5 years later and it's like woof? Yeah that just happened.

Indian dude in the office gave me a cookie and I think I just ate a teaspoon of curry powder

Edgar: "Yo player, just file the fuckin ticket"

Bummer. Tried to flash lollipop on my 2012 Nexus 7, but it doesn't recognize 10 USB cables in different computers. USB port is jacked.

Working here is like tattooing a band aid over a severed artery... We do half-assed workarounds and then refuse to go back and fix it right.

Literally dialed in to this portfolio review call from the shitter. Kinda how I feel about it.

I REAAAALLLLYYYY wish nude Kim Kardashians wouldn't show up in my Twitter feed k thx

[6:27:46 PM] i'm gonna go up there
[6:27:48 PM] shit on the floor
[6:27:51 PM] tell them to eat a dick
[6:27:52 PM] and walk out

Literary Skype genius from yesterday, during my Bynes breakdown (see next tweet)

.@MTA the 4/5 is a piece of shit subway line. Raise the fares and then continue your shitty service assholes http://t.co/k92uqCL2mF

Now that I get to leave this fuckin shithole, it's almost guaranteed that the motherless MTA will have some kind of train problem

I have one message for everyone right now http://t.co/Kw5tdmDrsk

Was in full Bynes meltdown mode today at work until I went to the bar. Then it was all okay

THIS IS EXCELLENT: https://t.co/EGBnrgYpQW Google fucked up big time by merging hangouts with SMS. It blew monkey dick. Night and day