Dave marry me

Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:58:54 AM from Twitter for Android

Omg this concert. #foo

Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:36:52 AM from Twitter for Android

Taylor calling out props to Cheap Trick @RockNationRadio #SonicHighways

Friday, October 17, 2014 11:32:28 PM from Twitter for Android

I was looking for a diamond but found a quarter. - Sonic Highways

Friday, October 17, 2014 11:26:36 PM from Twitter for Android

OMG SONIC HIGHWAYS

Friday, October 17, 2014 11:16:48 PM from Twitter for Android

SO excited for Sonic Highways tonight and then a live For Fighters concert after the premier on Facebook com/hbo

Friday, October 17, 2014 08:55:37 PM from Twitter for Android

How come people from India and Russia always say "I will do the needful" It's such a shitty mistranslation

Friday, October 17, 2014 03:33:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

Protip from one of my system engineers regarding not getting viruses: "Stop watching frickin porn on the production servers"

Friday, October 17, 2014 03:04:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Absolutely not one person wants to do a Jaeger bomb with me and they're have off. COME ON

Thursday, October 16, 2014 09:39:02 PM from Twitter for Android

When I open my bar, vodka crans are gonna be called Vagina Juice

Thursday, October 16, 2014 08:32:05 PM from Twitter for Android

Cuncel da Jets

Thursday, October 16, 2014 08:28:55 PM from Twitter for Android

Just realized drinking is the only thing that makes my job tolerable

Thursday, October 16, 2014 08:26:14 PM from Twitter for Android

What kind of devil puts a McDonald's next to a bar with like free drinks?

Thursday, October 16, 2014 08:11:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Freddy told us to wait for him because he was getting a sandwich. And by sandwich, he meant drunk underage girl

Thursday, October 16, 2014 06:33:55 PM from Twitter for Android

BRB, CTO propaganda meeting

Thursday, October 16, 2014 10:21:00 AM from Twitter for Android