Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Senior salesperson here still can't figure out that she can reset her own password in the software she's been selling for 5+ years. Idiot

Opened my fridge. Found some Surge and Budweiser.

Dat time you have unexpected leftover pizza after drinking doe. 🙌

DJ Bro: You can't play Pony at the Holiday party without peeps trying to fuck on the dance floor. Facts is facts

So if I put my empty drink on the reserved for Kosher table, that makes it Kosher, right?

Stop sucking the CTO's dick. Guys a jokeshow

God DAMN it.. I really need to stop confusing Stephie with other peeps. Like the 9th time I did it.

Good Job, Microsoft. I'd expect this from where I work, but not you guys: http://t.co/j5sRbRCW0v http://t.co/RhYvBaKsXx

"Vespas are for dudes who want to blow air on their vaginas" (I think I butchered that quote because I have goldfish memory, but similar)

Great job on the 6 pixel low res infographic ya morons. Because I can really read this.... @washingtonpost http://t.co/wY5BqeU6ff

The train is on time today and I look like a suit. What is this world coming to?

I might accidentally talk in a Jamaican accent today

When it's 8:30 and you have a hangover.. That blows

I'm ordering fat ass food for my fat ass belly

See bullshit. Freddy is all about this broad once I set him straight