It's rude that @MalJNew's Browns are better than the NY football Giants. Why is this even a thing?

Monday, November 03, 2014 01:25:01 PM from Twitter for Android

I just missed this shot. #cubceldapool http://t.co/Oaoa6zFgRY

Sunday, November 02, 2014 10:29:09 PM from Twitter for Android

Lollll

Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:31:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Omg. Heard this mashup playing unreal tournament in 2002 and couldn't find it since. So sick! https://t.co/KkUPnYTIx1

Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:02:40 PM from Twitter for Android

The apples on my sangria right now are SUGAR

Saturday, November 01, 2014 02:23:48 PM from Twitter for Android

I was trying to txt someone "suck it" but instead I sent "stuck or" #drunkie

Saturday, November 01, 2014 02:14:03 PM from Twitter for Android

Sonic Highways last night was superb. Fuckin Dolly Parton, Zac Brown and Dave Grohl for the win.

Saturday, November 01, 2014 02:09:16 PM from Twitter for Android

Happy Mexican Sugar Skull Day (or whatever they call it)

Saturday, November 01, 2014 01:39:15 PM from Twitter for Android

@BarstoolJJ 's walk of shame tweets are killing me

Saturday, November 01, 2014 01:34:39 PM from Twitter for Android

My client requested me to schedule a build for 10PM tonight. It is Halloween. It is friday night. Get your life together.

Friday, October 31, 2014 05:07:16 PM from Twitter Web Client

RT @DadBoner: Happy 'Ween to ya, boo guys.

Friday, October 31, 2014 04:51:37 PM from Twitter Web Client

"[4:49:57 PM]: no, they are a pair of fucking black panties on top of my toothbrush and shit"

Friday, October 31, 2014 04:51:20 PM from Twitter Web Client

Real talk, one of my coworkers just asked me if I knew of anyone who put a pair of black polka dot panties in his desk drawer

Friday, October 31, 2014 04:50:57 PM from Twitter Web Client

Bro. Don't care. Stop talking to me.

Friday, October 31, 2014 01:28:02 PM from Twitter Web Client