GF just burped beer in my face. Sexy.
Friday, December 12, 2014 10:32:24 PM from Twitter for Android
Everyone around me talks too fucking much
Friday, December 12, 2014 05:56:30 PM from Twitter Web Client
What's my motha fuckin name?
Friday, December 12, 2014 12:06:06 AM from Twitter for Android
"What a great thing to say to a senior vice president. Eat a dick. Have you considered eating a dick?"
Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:53:55 PM from Twitter for Android
Mal. You can't make meat pasta that tastes like my grandma's. Rude and awesome at the same time.
Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:36:25 PM from Twitter for Android
Where the fuck is the r train cunts
Thursday, December 11, 2014 07:56:06 PM from Twitter for Android
Fuck you cunts @mta
Thursday, December 11, 2014 07:53:22 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm too drunk to figure out why this cocksucking thing doesn't compile so ima head to the bar and pick this up tomorrow.
Thursday, December 11, 2014 07:07:03 PM from Twitter Web Client
Just realized I only had a 200 calorie dark chocolate bar for lunch. No wonder this huge IPA is doing its job (to make everything suck less)
Thursday, December 11, 2014 05:42:57 PM from Twitter for Android
Played my Olaf singing/dancing plush desk snowman. Bitches love Olaf singing/dancing plush desk snowmen
Thursday, December 11, 2014 04:50:20 PM from Twitter Web Client
"I know the fly honeys at bikini bar are outta this world but i am sure you can see a C section scar another time" - Freddy
Thursday, December 11, 2014 04:41:01 PM from Twitter Web Client
Almost just screamed "FIN. ARE YOU COMING TO BIKINI BAR WITH ME AFTER WORK?!?!" Across the office. Then I stopped myself.
Thursday, December 11, 2014 04:37:55 PM from Twitter Web Client
Just was the IT bitch for the SVP of Enterprise Sales and the CTO. They didn't know how to change the TV input to a conference room computer
Thursday, December 11, 2014 01:35:37 PM from Twitter Web Client
No Pornhub on the VMWare Template
Thursday, December 11, 2014 01:01:28 PM from Twitter Web Client