I have an emergency question:

Is there any beer left in our keg?
And can I have it now?

Tuesday, December 23, 2014 03:59:31 PM from Twitter Web Client

Back in the office... Broke the seal already.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014 03:23:34 PM from Twitter for Android

These beers are going down way too smooth

Tuesday, December 23, 2014 02:19:50 PM from Twitter for Android

Baller last minute shopper status

Monday, December 22, 2014 03:33:01 PM from Twitter Web Client

Get a load of this cunt who doesn't say thanks when you hold the door

Monday, December 22, 2014 02:53:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Wouldn't kill them to lower the heat on this train. Absurd.

Monday, December 22, 2014 08:34:03 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm addicted to this damn Family Guy game. I set my alarm for 4am to battle the Yeti

Monday, December 22, 2014 12:47:37 AM from Twitter for Android

60 on Christmas Eve and 50s the next day? Fuck this global warming assed shit. Its supposed to snow on Christmas. Horse shit.

Sunday, December 21, 2014 10:55:50 PM from Twitter for Android

In the tamiflu commercial where the guy oversized, the mini thermometer looks like he's smoking a joint. I was so confused.

Sunday, December 21, 2014 09:39:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Hone Alone is on. No one bother me.

Sunday, December 21, 2014 08:39:12 PM from Twitter for Android

Happy Winter. Now why isn't there snow?

Sunday, December 21, 2014 12:25:42 PM from Twitter Web Client

I don't think I heard anyone say cunt more times in one day since my 2010 drunk tweets.

Saturday, December 20, 2014 07:25:25 PM from Twitter for Android

RT @KFCBarstool: 2 NYPD cops working overtime on anti terrorism get shot execution style as "revenge" for Eric Garner. Most fucked up logic…

Saturday, December 20, 2014 06:18:47 PM from Twitter for Android

RT @Dave_Jets: I pretty much give up on society at this point.

Saturday, December 20, 2014 06:18:41 PM from Twitter for Android

If you live in fear, you're an asshole

Saturday, December 20, 2014 01:54:22 AM from Twitter for Android