Wrap scarves are silly pieces of shit. How am I supposed to tighten it around my face?

Friday, January 09, 2015 08:05:05 AM from Twitter for Android

Someone PLEASE mash up Steve Ballmer's "Developers developers developers" with his Fergie dance performance.

Friday, January 09, 2015 02:04:00 AM from Twitter Web Client

"I make dick jokes, am a borderline racist, alcoholic, drug addict" -@barstooljj via @YuppieJunk I might piss myself

Friday, January 09, 2015 01:46:40 AM from Twitter Web Client

Yep... It kinda takes a REALLY long time to generate checksums for 90GB files...

Friday, January 09, 2015 12:58:43 AM from Twitter Web Client

http://t.co/3jw6olQ1tu

Thursday, January 08, 2015 03:28:05 PM from Twitter Web Client

Everyone is pissing me off today

Thursday, January 08, 2015 11:34:53 AM from Twitter Web Client

@mustang_sarah Anyone reposting this bogus social virus should be banned from the internet forever

Wednesday, January 07, 2015 07:33:16 PM from Twitter for Android

These suits are so ignorant it's not even funny. Getting a spiked dick reamed to me on a process that hasn't changed in years. LOLZ

Wednesday, January 07, 2015 11:41:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

@__JLu Photoshop me more Axelrod wallpaper

Wednesday, January 07, 2015 12:45:33 AM from Twitter for Android

"I'm so sick of class action lawsuits. 'Dear Red Bull Drinker, Red Bull did not actually give you wings' SHUT UP" -@Docent_Steve

Monday, January 05, 2015 04:23:12 PM from Twitter Web Client

Bros. Turn off the heat here. Wasting energy. Its global warming out duh

Sunday, January 04, 2015 07:16:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Heat's on like 5 hundo in LaGuardia. I know why, but its not politically correct to say here.

Sunday, January 04, 2015 07:11:39 PM from Twitter for Android

This flight attendant is a straight up G

Sunday, January 04, 2015 05:37:25 PM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew put your phone in airplane mode joker. You're going to make us crash.

Sunday, January 04, 2015 05:36:38 PM from Twitter for Android