My boy and I are a couple degenerates http://t.co/U5AvHS8aID

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 08:44:40 PM from Twitter for Android

"Networking of failover of the pipes going in?"

THE PIPES ARE DOWN YOU GUYS

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 04:31:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

Welp, our datacenter is getting DDoS'd. Who wants to come to bikini bar in the meantime?

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 04:03:00 PM from Twitter Web Client

Useless cocksucking meeting

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 01:17:29 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm live tweeting a marching band. I need to reevaluate my life

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:31:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Someone tackle Dorothy

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:31:24 PM from Twitter for Android

Is anyone watching this game right now? Put on ESPN. This wizard of oz shit is killing me

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:30:06 PM from Twitter for Android

That's a frumpy assed Dorothy.

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:29:20 PM from Twitter for Android

This is a terrible Wizard of Oz

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:28:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Ohhhh the wizard of oz. . why'd the camera say zo? Lol they reversed it

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:28:34 PM from Twitter for Android

Marching bands are silly

Monday, January 12, 2015 10:25:55 PM from Twitter for Android

It hasn't smelled this bad in the office since that stank vagina sales girl left

Monday, January 12, 2015 03:03:51 PM from Twitter Web Client

You stinky motherfucker you

Monday, January 12, 2015 02:59:34 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm sorry, but if you bring fish for lunch and heat it up in the office, you're an asshole. Eat it cold, or don't bring fuckin fish

Monday, January 12, 2015 02:59:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

What's the nicest possible way to tell this project manager 1) shut the fuck up 2) I know how to fix this and you don't know shit so STFU.

Monday, January 12, 2015 12:25:05 PM from Twitter Web Client