"I don't like warm proteins on my salad" -@MalJNew, talking about grilled chicken

Thursday, March 26, 2015 02:53:03 PM from Twitter for Android

Cigarettes are fucking vile and you've gotta have rocks in your head to enjoy them

Thursday, March 26, 2015 02:14:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Everything about today is annoying the fuck out of me

Thursday, March 26, 2015 02:11:32 PM from Twitter for Android

shut upppppppppppppppppp

Thursday, March 26, 2015 10:53:35 AM from Twitter Web Client

Director of Engineering here doesn't understand fuckin source control.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015 03:46:26 PM from Twitter Web Client

It's 2015. How about Windows Explorer doesn't fucking hang when a mapped drive isn't available. BEEN AN ISSUE SINCE THE 90s FIX IT

Tuesday, March 24, 2015 02:10:08 PM from Twitter Web Client

The police stopped and had reasonable suspicion. Then they left because I was innocent son

Saturday, March 21, 2015 11:52:34 PM from Twitter for Android

My coat hides all. #notsketch

Saturday, March 21, 2015 11:38:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Just escaped the Hoboken PoPo

Saturday, March 21, 2015 11:38:27 PM from Twitter for Android

This Hoboken bus I'm on is the whitest bus ever

Saturday, March 21, 2015 08:45:22 PM from Twitter for Android

"I think I just swiped right on Beyonce #tinder" -buddah

Saturday, March 21, 2015 07:07:53 PM from Twitter for Android

Wasted

Saturday, March 21, 2015 04:59:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Nick swisherrrrrr bring me a mimosa

Saturday, March 21, 2015 04:23:14 PM from Twitter for Android

"Brunch place imcat usually makes" Typed that earlier. No idea what I meant. It's the level I'm at now

Saturday, March 21, 2015 03:50:51 PM from Twitter for Android

Nick Swisher is serving me brunch. Or his doppelganger

Saturday, March 21, 2015 03:32:58 PM from Twitter for Android