Passed out with my contact in. Proud. Haven't done that since college ya fuckin drunks

Sunday, March 15, 2015 05:28:38 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @MalJNew "Any lady walking in the lobby will have to be like a faucet when they see that picture of me..."-@portfolioso

Sunday, March 15, 2015 05:26:47 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @JFeitelberg: Everyone cancelled their plans on me tonight!!! http://t.co/t73vRBKNFv

Saturday, March 14, 2015 10:54:16 PM from Twitter for Android

Drunk texting your gf's mom tho

Saturday, March 14, 2015 09:24:11 PM from Twitter for Android

"Ray Romano is my favorite rock and roll star" -finkins

Saturday, March 14, 2015 01:24:42 PM from Twitter for Android

@__JLu oh right. Those...

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Saturday, March 14, 2015 07:49:16 AM from Twitter for Android

Remember back in the day when peeps use to take peeps' flip phones and rename contacts to ridic things? No one does that anymore. Wonder why

Saturday, March 14, 2015 06:12:36 AM from Twitter for Android

Punk rock!!!
✌✌✌

Friday, March 13, 2015 08:09:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Just got into a huge argument about birds reproductive systems.

Friday, March 13, 2015 07:51:43 PM from Twitter for Android

I actually have one and didn't before but was too tipsss to find the poop emoji and wanted to tweet it anyway.

Friday, March 13, 2015 06:23:10 PM from Twitter Web Client

The fact that I don't have a beer right now is horseshit

🐎💩

Friday, March 13, 2015 06:22:25 PM from Twitter Web Client

RT @DadBoner: Ain't been feeling' myself lately. Feels like a thousand years since I drank a thousand beers. The darkness has fell upon my …

Friday, March 13, 2015 06:16:49 PM from Twitter Web Client

@KFCBarstool Tell the tech guy to fix the RSS feed on the site. I haven't read the Stool in days because it's broken and not on my Feedly

In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet

Friday, March 13, 2015 05:23:45 PM from Twitter Web Client

@ky9 or for Asians to attach it to poles and take selfies

In reply to @ky9's tweet

Friday, March 13, 2015 05:21:08 PM from Twitter Web Client

Why the fuck would EMC vCenter's "new" web portal use Adobe Flash? Shit's been dead for years. Bring back the standalone or use HTML5.

Friday, March 13, 2015 05:17:37 PM from Twitter Web Client