And lungs

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 09:31:10 PM from Twitter for Android

I've been drinking since Thursday. Fuck my liver

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 09:15:28 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm gonna be drunk the rest of this weekend

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 09:10:50 PM from Twitter for Android

I am STOKED because I just confused two white people.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 08:19:46 PM from Twitter for Android

You know I'm shot when I tried to trade tonight's oncall shift for kickball anfd I'm not even on call tonight.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 05:28:18 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm such a fat, fat, fattie. #SmashBurgerComa

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 03:24:38 PM from Twitter Web Client

This is going to be as bad a that time I kept talking about poinsettias

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 12:49:27 PM from Twitter for Android

Just like the Mayor of this cesspool, I too am also late because the @MTA hasn't sent an R train in 20 mins.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015 12:21:39 PM from Twitter for Android

I've had just about enough of New York City. Get me the fuck out of this cesspool.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:45:30 PM from Twitter for Android

There's legit a rack mount server on the desk next to me and that's actually the password #forrealz http://t.co/99rXlVNO37

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 06:26:21 PM from Twitter for Android

BRB, heading to Starbucks' public WiFi so I can connect from there. It's a VPN tunnel. It's encrypted you fucking idiot.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 05:18:25 PM from Twitter Web Client

Our security guy is a fucking moron. He blocked us from connecting to our prod VPN on corporate WiFi because it's a security risk..

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 05:17:06 PM from Twitter Web Client

GOOD. IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT... Google Apparently Exploring A Design Revision For Hangouts Chrome App: http://t.co/z9SsID1108

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:54:42 AM from Twitter Web Client

These joke shops finally realized they fucked up by splitting Foursquare and Swarm? https://t.co/o4d2tTLdRY

Tuesday, May 05, 2015 02:58:50 AM from Twitter for Android

Well done CJ

Monday, May 04, 2015 09:54:45 PM from Twitter for Android