Jesus Christ, CC. You suck at life

Friday, July 24, 2015 08:29:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Can't even filter by "submitted by" for user stories in our agile tracking software. Piece of crap

Friday, July 24, 2015 01:42:22 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just crashed a taxi's point of sale by trying to pay with @googlewallet / NFC on my phone. Buggy POS (pun intended)

Thursday, July 23, 2015 11:51:12 PM from Twitter for Android

Shouldn't have had Mexican for lunch AND dinner yesterday. I'm at an all day offsite meeting. Use your imagination

Thursday, July 23, 2015 05:03:53 PM from Twitter Web Client

I fuckin hate Serge

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:57:07 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm not pissing next to these two suits.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:37:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Let's all go to the bar and take body shots off Vinny

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 09:24:53 PM from Twitter for Android

"I take one lens out so I can wink at bitches" http://t.co/cfya7o5Ap3

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 08:32:07 PM from Twitter for Android

Get a load of Cuba making medical breakthroughs: http://t.co/Lbavm3De7B

Merica. No longer on top,

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 01:24:21 PM from Twitter Web Client

Confirmed: The Minion in the McDonalds happy meal does indeed say "what the fuck."

Saturday, July 18, 2015 09:48:21 PM from Twitter for Android

Dat show tho. I just

Thursday, July 16, 2015 11:41:36 PM from Twitter for Android

I cannot believe I'm seeing my bff Dave and the awesome Foo Fighters at Citifield. Zomgz

Thursday, July 16, 2015 08:34:16 PM from Twitter for Android

Cabbie legit floored it over a double yellow line to pass someone @MalJNew

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 10:20:22 PM from Twitter for Android

Why are you using Adobe Flash to stream video instead of HTML5? It's not rocket science #askNASA

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 03:18:53 PM from Twitter Web Client

Hydra looks like a buncha pixels

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 03:08:41 PM from Twitter Web Client