Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Black Keys - Rubber Factory is a great album to fuck to.#jussayin

My tweets are like 10,000x better when I'm drunk... Past week. Lame. Today? Gold.

🎶 What about the night,
Makes you change, yeah,
Oh, from sweet,
To deranged? 🎶

More of a Katy Perry fan myself. Better boobs.

eh who the fuck am I kidding. Was always more of an ass man. Just ask Simmons.They called me Spanky in college.

My GF is hammered right now. I can tell by peering across this office...........

Out new security guy is intimidating the fuck out of me. We're all hammered and he's a hardcore dude not drinking, probably judging us.

This pope is a cool dude. I'm perfectly ok with him ruining my commute and NYC experience tomorrow

#aintnobodydoingwork Got back from the bar and my office did an open bar #dranksondranksondranks

Yeah, in case you were wondering, that is a nip of Patron on my desk.

DAFUQ. 5 mins after I come back from the bar at lunch, my office sets up a full bar in celebration of things I can't disclose #NDA

Protip: Drink a bucket of beer at lunch, then have a shot.

They were talking about conditioner and brushing hair, so my chances just went up a notch #yeahbuddy