I'm at Celebrate Brooklyn!/Prospect Park Bandshell in Brooklyn, NY w/ @maljnew https://t.co/tbUr13wwZh

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 06:49:25 PM from Foursquare

ATTENTION EVERYONE: HOP OFF MY DICK

Seriously. Why do you need me to get anything done. Shut up and figure it out like I can.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 04:17:20 PM from Twitter Web Client

Once again, what kind of idiot asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when they're all empty. Buffer zone, bro.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:59:25 AM from Twitter for Android

You can't lose to a fuckin last place team in 16 innings. Just can't. This is a playoff race. Christ.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:56:20 AM from Twitter Web Client

@MalJNew I warned ya.

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 01:19:49 PM from Twitter Web Client

http://t.co/RAs3tsJExS @Fantasy_Mania @Onethirdof3x5

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 12:04:52 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm a Special Ed on these drums. davidddddddddd come show me some things

Monday, August 10, 2015 09:27:25 PM from Twitter for Android

What kind of dumb bitch would drink water that 1) has a known toxic spill and 2) Has known toxic waste in it. http://t.co/mnnU0wJs7f

Monday, August 10, 2015 10:00:55 AM from Twitter Web Client

Whoops. I meant to say 2) Looks that color... I said the same thing twice.

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Monday, August 10, 2015 11:01:29 AM from Twitter Web Client

Anyone who actually purchased Whole Foods' "asparagus water" should be executed for stupidity. Can't have the stupid genes in the pool.

Monday, August 10, 2015 09:41:42 AM from Twitter Web Client

EPA: "Welp, we were trying to clean up shit but instead we accidentally dumped 3 mil gallons into the river."

Assholes should go to prison

Monday, August 10, 2015 09:39:59 AM from Twitter Web Client

I'm in an aggressive, no bullshit mood this morning. I'm already ready to start punching our idiot L1 support reps in the face.

Monday, August 10, 2015 09:36:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

This Metro North train is rocking so violently im seasick. I don't even get seasick

Saturday, August 08, 2015 10:59:37 AM from Twitter for Android

Bums all over this shithole city. Bill: get lawst http://t.co/9HMiboq5bs

Friday, August 07, 2015 07:18:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Gunjan: "They made this Indian food the white person way"

Friday, August 07, 2015 12:37:33 PM from Twitter Web Client