Subway is legit parked right now. #mtaproblems
Wednesday, September 16, 2015 08:55:25 AM from Twitter for Android
A fuckin bird just shit on my hand
Tuesday, September 15, 2015 08:28:31 AM from Twitter for Android
That time you have to piss and you didn't even take off yet. This is why you don't get hammered before flights
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:39:03 PM from Twitter for Android
Can I Seamless food to the gate at LaGuardia when I've landed? #fatfuck
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:36:45 PM from Twitter for Android
Also, fuck airplane mode. The frequency phones run on won't conflict with the airplane shit. So I am tweeting this as we take off. I'll live
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:34:13 PM from Twitter for Android
You've gotta be a giant vajay to be secured by a plane seatbelt.
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:32:58 PM from Twitter for Android
Oh wait plane seatbelts protect you from turbulence? You ever ride the NYC subways? Shit's 95 times worse than turbulence.
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:32:10 PM from Twitter for Android
Plane seatbelts are the stupidest things ever. Like... If the plane crashed, it's not going to save you.
Monday, September 14, 2015 03:30:37 PM from Twitter for Android
Eli with the sizzzz pass... To the cameraman
Sunday, September 13, 2015 11:39:43 PM from Twitter for Android
New blog post: Middle Managers Basiclly Want to Kill Themselves http://t.co/f3dNoyqFpS
Saturday, September 12, 2015 06:35:56 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog
@BarstoolJJ DEEZ NUTZZZ
Saturday, September 12, 2015 03:39:12 PM from Twitter Web Client
another test
Saturday, September 12, 2015 03:38:32 PM from Twitter Web Client
New blog post: test http://t.co/3zzMdCR0iH
Saturday, September 12, 2015 03:38:04 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog
Ate a 3/4 lb burger today like a fat fuck and now my rotten cow meat farts are putrid #tmi
Saturday, September 12, 2015 04:15:43 AM from Twitter for Android
Temporarily needed to go private because of crazy spammers
Thursday, September 10, 2015 09:22:42 AM from Twitter for Android