Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Will you fuckers stop ruining the Earth? I want my snow in December and this is why we can't have it. https://t.co/qVpfL7QXD9

There's a dude blasting Latin music on his phone in the shitter stall next to me. And not a single fuck was given that day!

Besides the new San Fran Apple TV flyby, Apple TV screensaver is lame as fuck and repeats the save 7 pics over and over. #chromecastftw

I want a cheeseburger

Someone said 1988 was 100,000 years ago. Not sure how I feel about this now...

If you have to punch a spider in the face, it's probably too big of a spider...

"I remember the day Whitney died. I was with you. It's like when JFK died, for older people" -@MichaelShatin

"I hate the smell of a sneeze. It's like arthritis on the tongue" -@MichaelShatin

I pulled the recovery for Scott Wieland

Ima go buy some fine rugs whilst my dude @__JLu is at Cactus Crossfit https://t.co/LbVi0oaj2i

Um. Whoever played Carly Rae Jepsen at the bar on this, the day of Scott Wieland passing is an asshole.

Cue the STP on the jukebox

Just found out from @MalJNew Scott Wieland kicked it. My first reaction "Jesus fucking Christ I knew that'd happen at some point"

I really need to stop telling everyone at work that I'm going to punch everyone in the face

Cheeseburger for breakfast because fuck you, I can.