Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I was gonna say midget but isn't little person more politically correct? Like isn't there a show called that with a doctor woman?

In other news, I went oncall and there might be a little person here.

Pretty sure this hammered 70something woman is trying to bang by friend right now. #mystatus

Really need to poop you guys and this NYC traffic can suck it

@ky9 depends. If they're in college, its very normal. Did it all the time. Barstool took over the Pepsi porch tonight, so that explains it

In reply to @ky9's tweet

Tonight's fuckin trouble. I can sense it. #gettinhammeredtonight

I'm about to start a Jock Jams party in the office, you guys

I've gotta take a huge shit and have an hour meeting with useless VP #2

OMG. I am THIS close to telling our VP of product who asked me a stupid fuckin question to read our help site.

This might take a while. Also, there is a loud whining kid here. Someone give him an ambien

Step off the pharmacy line to grab something bc no one was at the pharmacy. Next thing you know they're helping a guy who no habla ingles.

A bunch of bumbling ijits on this call

Subway is legit parked right now. #mtaproblems

A fuckin bird just shit on my hand