Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

#aintnobodydoingwork Got back from the bar and my office did an open bar #dranksondranksondranks

Yeah, in case you were wondering, that is a nip of Patron on my desk.

DAFUQ. 5 mins after I come back from the bar at lunch, my office sets up a full bar in celebration of things I can't disclose #NDA

Protip: Drink a bucket of beer at lunch, then have a shot.

This dude at the bar right now is legit Bruce from Family Guy http://t.co/1rp7XQsk11

I'm kinda hoping this bartendress is a little lezzie for Mal so we can have a threesome

They were talking about conditioner and brushing hair, so my chances just went up a notch #yeahbuddy

Overheard at the bar: "Taylor Swift has the eyes of a Chinese man masturbator"

More of a Katy Perry fan myself. Better boobs.

eh who the fuck am I kidding. Was always more of an ass man. Just ask Simmons.They called me Spanky in college.

@BadPointer Quoted your boss in an email

This isn't a temporary solution. It'll prevent exceptions from occurring. The long term solution is to rewrite the UI (which is not a joke)

Google Play music/movies is all jacked up right now.

Am I going to hell that I'm more excited for Pearl Jam on Sunday than the Pope? #PopeinNYC

Shame the Yanks didn't win one for Yogi yesterday