Actual Freddy quote from the bar: "Man, I can't wait to fingerblast someone tonight"

Thursday, February 25, 2016 02:55:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Someone's gotta clean their shitty asshole on this R train.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016 06:32:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Goddammit. Drinking doesn't work anymore.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016 11:59:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Sorry. Went to White Castle in Manhattan and it wasn't that great. It only tasted great in the hood. Gotta go to Yonkers or the Bronx duh.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016 09:52:58 PM from Twitter for Android

Since when does fuckin oil dictate how the entire stock market works? And one day it's up 10% the other day it's down 10%. Volatile cunts.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016 06:56:54 PM from Twitter Web Client

@NYCTSubway why is the uptown R traveling at reduced speed but the site says good service? At 42nd st

Monday, February 22, 2016 06:28:05 PM from Twitter for Android

Something's not right. It's the same temperature in February in New York and Bermuda...

Saturday, February 20, 2016 04:50:24 PM from Twitter for Android

SECURITY GUY. TERMINATED
https://t.co/0exgAApyCI

Friday, February 19, 2016 05:42:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

Pretty sure someone shit elevator #12 in this building

Friday, February 19, 2016 03:33:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Normally, I'd be concerned with him spending the weekend lifting data and adding backdoors, but he's too fuckin stupid to do that

Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:48 AM from Twitter Web Client

What kind of dumb bitch works from home on his last day? I need your RSA token and laptop back idiot. And it's the security guy. Real secure

Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:18 AM from Twitter Web Client

Spoiler Alert: In last week's X-Files, Mulder does mushrooms, sees some crazy shit and solves the crime.

Friday, February 19, 2016 10:19:23 AM from Twitter Web Client

EVERYTHING IS BROKEN. NOTHING WORKS.

Thursday, February 18, 2016 04:41:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

I don't get why this ignoramus is breaking my balls when his last day is tomorrow. We'd benefit more if he did NOTHING. cc @XtinaSchelin

Thursday, February 18, 2016 09:41:32 AM from Twitter Web Client

TRUTH: https://t.co/1oPcd4JR55

Wednesday, February 17, 2016 11:06:29 PM from Twitter for Android