Absolutely hate it when bots like my tweets 1.5 seconds after I tweet them

Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:02:40 PM from Twitter for Android

Absolute horseshit that these morons are comparing Windows 10 to Vista. Win 10 is a very solid OS: https://t.co/x6rdoVze7n

Saturday, March 26, 2016 11:59:45 AM from Twitter for Android

@swarmapp was fixed in an update. Thanks

In reply to @swarmapp's tweet

Saturday, March 26, 2016 11:04:05 AM from Twitter for Android

I've got @MalJNew is yelling at me for being on my computer coding, yet at the same time @BadPointer is all like: https://t.co/6wUlXkgBtz

Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:44:12 AM from Twitter Web Client

Grammar brah. Too lazy to tweet it again properly

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:45:33 AM from Twitter Web Client

This bag of vino's going down reallll smooth you guys. #Klassy

Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:07:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

@swarmapp New profile page crashes on my Moto X Pure (Android 6.0), even after clearing all app data.

In reply to @swarmapp's tweet

Thursday, March 24, 2016 04:39:11 PM from Twitter for Android

Flight attendant has the face of a good voice actress. @MalJNew is very observant

Thursday, March 24, 2016 01:14:35 PM from Twitter for Android

When a VP asks you to join a meeting, replying "nah son" is both hysterical and probably not recommended

Wednesday, March 23, 2016 10:58:51 AM from Twitter Web Client

Have 32 bit VM and the official redis Windows port is x64 only, so I compiled it as x86 myself. Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Tuesday, March 22, 2016 09:47:39 PM from Twitter Web Client

Twitter is 10 years old. My second tweet ever back in July 08 is about sausage and peppers. Go figure

Monday, March 21, 2016 10:14:08 PM from Twitter for Android

This gif describes my VP comparing my dudes hair to college basketball players https://t.co/Lj1z2vKCmW

Monday, March 21, 2016 08:07:22 PM from Twitter for Android

This client dinner's amazing. I got my degenerate boss buying Patron shots and we're all making fun of the VP on the other side of the table

Monday, March 21, 2016 07:53:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Come on, Boaty McBoatFace is the best boat name ever. Even @XtinaSchelin supports renaming one of our servers to ServerMcServerFace01

Monday, March 21, 2016 05:24:13 PM from Twitter Web Client

Gotta love my dev team talking about point of sale user stories #JustTheTip https://t.co/YeSEVj3rIK

Monday, March 21, 2016 04:11:43 PM from Twitter Web Client