I really need to stop saying that our codebase sucks a dick around my gay work friends.

Friday, May 06, 2016 08:15:38 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm sure all 231 people at Yankee Stadium right now are thrilled to be sitting in the rain losing in the 1st inning.

Friday, May 06, 2016 07:30:40 PM from Twitter for Android

It is May 6th. The Yankees are one of three MLB teams who don't have at least 10 wins yet.

Friday, May 06, 2016 06:20:07 PM from Twitter Web Client

Marketing just sent out a weekly update email to the whole company. There's a pic of me flipping the bird and double fisting drinks.

Friday, May 06, 2016 05:57:29 PM from Twitter Web Client

Oh for fuck's sake. Just found out that one of our apps has a different version of redis on the master than the slave.

Friday, May 06, 2016 11:49:20 AM from Twitter Web Client

This bathroom smells like sex and vomit

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 11:06:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Meredith Merakovits is pretty rough looking @YESNetwork

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 10:38:31 PM from Twitter for Android

Would be nice if my fuckin key worked in the fuckin lock. #raisetherenttho. Get me the fuck out of this cess pool city

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 01:25:16 AM from Twitter for Android

I genuinely wonder how much better the world would be if everyone would just think for themselves instead of worrying about judgment.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 01:21:01 AM from Twitter for Android

Protip in life: If you don't like who the fuck I am, go fuck yourself

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 01:18:02 AM from Twitter for Android

Cuncel da @Yankees cya in 2017

Tuesday, May 03, 2016 11:15:41 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm a negative asshole that no one likes!

Tuesday, May 03, 2016 09:13:06 PM from Twitter for Android

I was drunk twice today and didn't get hungover either time! #score

Tuesday, May 03, 2016 08:20:23 PM from Twitter for Android

@BadPointer their shows were Sunday and Monday lol.

In reply to @BadPointer's tweet

Tuesday, May 03, 2016 08:19:35 PM from Twitter for Android

RT @sadserver: the pids aren't alright

Tuesday, May 03, 2016 08:16:49 PM from Twitter for Android