Yo @YouTube. Way to send me a YouTube red marketing email when I'm already a subscriber via @GooglePlayMusic dunce

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:39:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Is there any way to see what I just Snapchated? Because I'm pretty sure I won't remember this in the am or 5 mins from now... #oldmillenial

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:36:37 PM from Twitter for Android

I don't understand how the Snapchat works. #oldmillenial

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:25:58 PM from Twitter for Android

I knew I was gonna be this sloppy. Called it this morning. Rarely party, but I can call it when I sense I'm gonna go nuts

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:25:21 PM from Twitter for Android

I just tried to photo bomb a Snapchat and got crossed out before being sent. Little #butthurt

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:23:26 PM from Twitter for Android

All the hoes jockin
Alina and Pat cockblockin'

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:01:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Fuck you too bitch call the cops

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:53:29 PM from Twitter for Android

Yo @twitter. Fix the bug in your Android app where scrolling through multiple pics in one tweet lags the shit out of my phone

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:26:34 PM from Twitter for Android

#boss #drake https://t.co/twJlPz0F2w

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:21:48 PM from Twitter for Android

@BarstoolJJ Tex hit a home run, didn't he?

In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:13:22 PM from Twitter for Android

Just had my 4th mixed drink at the standard... I guess I'll need to take out a loan soon

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:06:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Dumb motherfuckers. Why would you EVER run SQL profiler in production. For fuck's sake.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:09:19 AM from Twitter for Android

Now one of my socks is inside out... I'm a hot mess.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 09:37:00 AM from Twitter for Android

This is gonna sound absolutely absurd, but I can explain. I think I left my sunglasses in the work fridge yesterday...😎

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 08:41:57 AM from Twitter for Android

Yanks are back. Going all the way to the series #positivenancy

Tuesday, May 24, 2016 09:25:41 PM from Twitter for Android