Wayyy to drunk to be responsible for a multi-million dollar SaaS platform right now. But 1) I am and 2) sober people ain't got shit on me

Friday, May 27, 2016 05:05:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

HR bartender might be judging me for hanging out behind the work bar and making my own drinks #hateuscausetheyaintus

Friday, May 27, 2016 04:15:55 PM from Twitter Web Client

I probably shouldn't operate heavy machinery from this point forward.

Friday, May 27, 2016 04:06:42 PM from Twitter Web Client

Ready Player One is a tight book, but imagine how much better it would be if it was a 90s instead of 80s obsession...,

Friday, May 27, 2016 03:27:44 PM from Twitter Web Client

Pluto's tight, son https://t.co/8obW8qnFAP

Friday, May 27, 2016 02:44:06 PM from Twitter Web Client

Is the office bar open yet?

Friday, May 27, 2016 02:41:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

Happy Friyay

Friday, May 27, 2016 08:44:27 AM from Twitter for Android

#thefuckingsubway

Thursday, May 26, 2016 09:30:24 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @PeruvianPrncs: Help! What's a filter on Snapchat? How do I engage our clients on it? #oldmillenial #pdxdms

Thursday, May 26, 2016 12:32:20 AM from Twitter for Android

Ima bang this NY pizza

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:45:57 PM from Twitter for Android

This pizza's fleek. Did I say that right? #oldmillenial

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:44:36 PM from Twitter for Android

Vinny " sir. Can we put the can in reverse please?"

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:01:05 PM from Twitter for Android

I hang out with such hot guys, they get hit on by HOTTTT girls sleeping and drooling out the front of a cab

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:00:35 PM from Twitter for Android

This Asian slut is all about Young Mark's chest hair. #jussayin

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:45:22 PM from Twitter for Android

I keep stealing Pat's beer

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:44:03 PM from Twitter for Android