My friends just described Not Your Father's Root beer in the most vile, degenerate way and Young Mark's still sleeping

Saturday, May 14, 2016 01:31:43 AM from Twitter for Android

Freddy's taking selfies with the ladies

Saturday, May 14, 2016 01:25:44 AM from Twitter for Android

Ahhh sheeeeit. Kevin Rose just shook a bitch https://t.co/gvpKky5YjE

Saturday, May 14, 2016 01:23:14 AM from Twitter for Android

The Yankees suck so bad, the NY bars even turn them off for Mets and basketball

Friday, May 13, 2016 09:11:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Which dumb UX/UI hipster over at @SlackHQ thought it was a good idea to waste screen real estate on a sidebar when I only have one team?

Thursday, May 12, 2016 09:14:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

Jesus Christ Microsoft. Explain how Skype just crashes out of the blue, and then my entire headset and bluetooth gets all fucked up

Tuesday, May 10, 2016 02:56:24 PM from Twitter Web Client

I didn't mean to, but I'm getting hammered for this show

Monday, May 09, 2016 08:38:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Happy Monday, cunts #thefuckingsubway

Monday, May 09, 2016 09:24:10 AM from Twitter for Android

@NYCTSubway there have been 0 manh bound R trains at 46th in the past 20 minutes

Monday, May 09, 2016 09:18:11 AM from Twitter for Android

@NYCTSubway you're making announcements about the 7 line which is irrelevant and not about how the M/R has delays

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Monday, May 09, 2016 09:23:49 AM from Twitter for Android

These dumb fuckin hicks won't repeal their asinine law even if it means losing 4.8 billion? Inbred morons. https://t.co/mkDunT8MuZ

Sunday, May 08, 2016 02:43:00 AM from Twitter Web Client

I really need to stop saying that our codebase sucks a dick around my gay work friends.

Friday, May 06, 2016 08:15:38 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm sure all 231 people at Yankee Stadium right now are thrilled to be sitting in the rain losing in the 1st inning.

Friday, May 06, 2016 07:30:40 PM from Twitter for Android

It is May 6th. The Yankees are one of three MLB teams who don't have at least 10 wins yet.

Friday, May 06, 2016 06:20:07 PM from Twitter Web Client

Marketing just sent out a weekly update email to the whole company. There's a pic of me flipping the bird and double fisting drinks.

Friday, May 06, 2016 05:57:29 PM from Twitter Web Client